Recently I was the guest author at a meeting of the Renaissance
Readers Book Club; and I must say that it was just fabulous! Having never done
such a thing I was nervous and didn’t know quite what to expect, so I checked
with a few more knowledgeable author friends. “Every club, and every club
meeting, is different” they said. “Just be open and go with the flow.”
The flow began with the very gracious hostess welcoming me
to her beautiful home and introducing me to the other club members. It continued
with food (good food) and drinks, and a little catching up on their part and
then, “So Lisa about the book - ?”
We talked about my process, my inspirations, my roadblocks
and delays, my very active imagination and my worldview. We talked about God,
of course. How could we not? God is what “Aunt Sadie’s Angel” is all about
after all. But we also talked about civics and politics and religion and family
life and career building and health management and our current social climate. We
talked about ancestry and spirituality. We went with the flow.
The collective aptitude, perspective and intelligence of those
gathered was powerful, enlightening, religious in nature, downright sexy. The
conversation flowed in so many directions that I simply cannot share it all,
but one thing in particular stands out as food for thought; and that is that we
grieved for the family of the Nebraskan toddler killed by the alligator at
Disney World: what a permanently life-altering ordeal. We thanked God that the
child’s remains had been recovered and hoped that the recovery offered his
parents some small comfort.
We went on to talk about the child who two weeks earlier fell
into the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo and how his family narrowly
escaped a similar fate. We talked about
the stark differences in society’s treatment of the two families, how one
family was seen as helpless victims worthy of compassion and regard while the
other was seen as heartless offenders whose negligence resulted in the unwarranted
slaying of an innocent animal. One incident sparked a review of the park’s safety
protocols while the other launched a criminal investigation into the background
of the parents.
We talked about the expressions of outrage over the slaying
of that gorilla to save the life of a child, indeed an entire family. We talked
about the absence of outrage over the slaying of five alligators in an effort to help a
family resolve its grief despite a knowing that the child’s life could not be
saved. We condemned the former because it was utterly unacceptable that so many
people felt no compassion for a mother’s panic and fear; but we celebrated the
latter for it was as it should have been. The embracing of that family's fear and grief, the prayerful waiting was a display of humanity at its best. The slaying of those alligators was warranted!
Recovery of the child’s body, recovery of a small portion of his family’s peace
was worth the loss. They were on vacation. It was supposed to be a happy time.
They were in no wise prepared for the tragedy that befell them.
The slaying of that gorilla was also warranted! Just as with
the alligator, the peace and safety of an entire family hung in the balance. A
mother took her children on an outing to the zoo. It was supposed to be a happy
time, a cultural experience. They were in no wise prepared for the tragedy that
befell them.
The most obvious difference between the two incidences is
that one child, one family is black and the other child, the other family is
white. And as much as I know in my spirit that our society’s harsh treatment of
African Americans factors into the differences in reactions I also know that
there is more to it than that. I know that there is also a less obvious
difference between the two incidences and that is time. In the first incident we didn’t take the time
to process what was at stake for the child or for his mother. We just rushed to
judgment. “That mother is at fault. She should have …” It’s what we do to
convince ourselves that what happened to them would never happen to us because
we would never …
I believe that two weeks later we had time to realize just how
absurd that line or thinking is and so we were better able to respond to the
second family, which brings me to why book clubs matter.
Though one was fatal and the other was not, both incidences
were tragic. Even more tragic is that we live in a society of people whose
kneejerk response to a family’s danger is to place blame. We live in an angry
world. We have a lot of pent up emotions. We are fearful and reactionary; and
when our anxieties are roused we say and do ridiculously outrageous things like
pass judgment on a woman who is afraid for the safety of her child. And we are
unable to see the inappropriateness of that until we gain some distance from it
and our fears are calmed. Truth be told - we could all probably benefit from a little therapy, but we’re afraid of
that too. So …
Until such time that we can come to terms with our need for
counseling things like book club meetings could potentially offer a reasonable,
albeit temporary, alternative. All of humanity has a definitive need for community, for dialogue, for reliable intimate conversation spaces, for safety zones in which to process our feelings. In the absence of healthy forums for communication we resort to unhealthy communications, name calling, mud slinging and unreasonably harsh judgments of one another.
Books, even not so good books,
invoke discussion; and the gathering of book clubs invites dialogue. It’s
an opportunity to hear and be heard, to say out loud what we think about a
matter and then have what we’ve said reverberate. It is a practice ground for
sorting out what we really think and feel before presenting our ideas and feelings to the world. Or at
least it has the potential to be. The meeting of the Renaissance Readers club certainly was. It
was a gathering of enlightened minds open to the exchange of ideas. It was easy
to be honest. It was easy to disagree. It was respectful and supportive and encouraging.
It was safe.
If you have some processing to do but you aren’t quite
comfortable with the idea of counseling consider joining a book club. It just
might help to move you in the direction you need to go.
Lastly, gorillas and alligators matter. Unquestionably,
undeniably they do. But they do not matter as much as children and families,
and people like you and me and those who gather to discuss the books they've read.
Wishing you peace for your journey,
Lisa-Jane
#BlackChildrenMatter
#BlackFamiliesMatter
#BlackLivesMatter
